Big Ultrasound Results! It’s a ???????

Not so long ago, I found out that I am going to have another baby.

Having already been blessed with my bouncing baby boy Aidan, I was so excited about this new pregnancy! You see, I am a girly GIRLY girl. I love my lipstick, nail polish, perfume, shopping and all things PINK. I admit I have always been a little bit prissy and A-LOT-a-bit sassy. I was really thrown for a loop when I found out that Aidan was going to be a boy, because I really did not know what I would do with a boy. Of course now, I cannot imagine things any other way.  Then it came as a bit of a shock that we were expecting again so soon!  I was surprised because, well,  we were not exactly “trying” and yet at the same time were not doing anything to prevent pregnancy either. We had gone through such a difficult time to get pregnant with Aidan in the first place, I guess we never could have imagined it would ever happen that easy for us! (It did.)From the moment I found out I had another life growing inside of me, I started having dreams of pink frilly dresses and visions of dance recitals. I made lists upon lists of baby girl names and had daydreams of all the things we would do together. I made a specific list of things that I did not get to do as a little girl and I would make it one of my missions in life to help her in any way I can, get to do those things, things I never did get to do or finish doing. Oh how I wanted this baby to be a little girl . I thought of all the fun we would have and how she would never know the heartaches I have myself suffered, If I had anything to do about it. My dreams ran wild! I looked into the future and I could see teddy bear tea parties and barbie doll beauty shoppes. Well through the middle of all the pink frilly purple clouds, it became more difficult for me to hear what God was trying to tell me. I got so busy making my OWN plans, that I never bothered to pray to Him for wisdom because oh FOR SURE this baby is going to be a girl. I wanted a girl the first time and did not get her. Aidan turned out great and yes that was God’s plan. But now? Now it is MY turn! So God began to poke holes in my big pink bubble. What if it’s another boy? What if THIS is my plan for you instead?? (Jeremiah 29:11) Then I began to feel incredibly guilty. If this baby turns out to be a boy, I’m so afraid I will be disappointed about not getting a girl, that he would not get the excitement that he deserves from me.

So I began to spend alot of time with God in prayer. I talked out all of my feelings. My desire to have a little girl, yet my love and absolute joy I have being a mother of a little boy. I asked God to give me peace. I had been having  alot of worry about the health of the baby first and foremost, and then there was the gender anxiety. One afternoon, I really felt led to make everything in my apartment as calm and quiet as can be, and just spend the day alone in God’s presence. Not talk, just listen. So I did. I began to think about my life, even from the earliest stages and who has influenced me the most. By far and large, my father has had the single greatest earthly impact in helping shape me into who I am. He’s the one who led me to Christ at a very young age and my life would not be the same without him. Then I started thinking about how all throughout my life, my school years, even up into college, how I had more friends that were boys than friends that were girls. The friendships with these guys were exactly that, friendships, non-romantic relationships, with great guys who I still keep in touch with to this day. Many of whom have lovely wives and children and I am blessed to know them and blessed to call them friends. It was with these guys in mind, that God revealed to me just how in control and sovereign He is. God has been using all these dear boy friendships over the years to mold me, shape me, groom me and prepare me to be the mother of a little boy (possible 2?) I have loved many guys over the years, and I married my favorite one. 🙂 The man I married has known from day one that I have friendships with guys that go way back and has never been jealous (nor have I ever given him a reason to be jealous) I am so in awe of the big picture God has planned for me. So going into today’s appointment, I had peace either way. Either I was going to get the girl that I had daydreamed about, or I was getting another sweet baby boy.

And the verdict is……….

We’re having another BOY!!!!

So this is what I’m meant to do. Have boys. Be a mother to sons. It is such an amazing privilege, that it overwhelms me. Growing boys into men. Help shape future husbands and fathers. Not that I’m not still a teensy bit disappointed I did not get the girl I daydreamed about. Ohhh how can I explain this?? I think God knows what he’s doing by giving me boys. I have OH SO many issues, insecurities, wounds , scars, etc etc, that took place when I was a little girl, wounds that I’m afraid would bust wide open at times if I were to have little girls. I have so many little girl hurts, that they may, as hard as I would try to prevent it, make trickle down to her and I would inadvertently expose her own insecurities in the process. Not that I won’t have to work hard to keep this from happening with my boys as well, it just seems that girls are a completely different ball game, especially when it comes to emotions!

So we are very blessed and excited. Everything on the ultrasound turned out completely normal, and we have another healthy boy on the way! Now if we can only come up with a name. All suggestions are welcome! Thanks for visiting this post and be sure to leave a comment with a suggestion for a boy name. We need all the help we can get!!

Advertisements

Let Me Sum Up

It’s been awhile…..

Right now would be a good opportunity to use a quote from one of my favorite movies EVAH…

“Let me essplain … no….there is too much…..let me sum up…” – Inigo,     The Princess Bride

So here I am to sum it up. Here are the “goings on” since my last post.

-My little boy turned 1 year old.

-We had a big birthday bash complete with EPIC cake smash.

Birthday boy cake smash

-Severe morning sickness with my new pregnancy, once again diagnosed with HG- Hyperemesis gravidarum.

-After 12 + months of breastfeeding my baby boy, our breastfeeding time came to an end.

Sniff, sniff.

-Made it to my second trimester of pregnancy, all still going well with the baby, even in the face of HG and having lost 15 + pounds so far.

-Lots and lots and lots and lots of STUDYING.

-Having a child in daycare presents many blessings as well as challenges. Challenges including separation anxiety, frequent colds, and a couple of nasty stomach viruses, one of which landed us in the hospital for a few days.

-Sick child= Husband missed time from work= Missed pay= Big time financial struggles

-Sick child= Me missing classes=missing notes and work I can’t make up= Stressing about making bad grades+ pregnancy hormones= Lots of Crying spells

-Made some new friends that I’m sure will be lifelong ones.

-Hard work really does pay off:

My final grades: Two A’s and Two B’s

Yup. For the first time in my LIFE, I made the Dean’s List.

And in conclusion, I saved the best for last:

Aidan started walking!

To see a cute video of my little man’s walking skills, go to my Facebook Page (and like it while you’re there!)

So that about sums it up, and brings us up to date! Each one of these deserved its own post, but as you can see, I’ve been rather busy.  🙂

Let the summer begin!

Guess What?

I just can’t hold it in another minute. I have a big piece of news. A secret that has been so hard to keep. Especially hard not to talk about on this blog. My goal for this blog is to write about my life, for my life to be an open book. I’ve held out for exactly a month to the date, but I can’t stand it anymore… Here goes…

I’m pregnant! Aidan is going to be a big brother!

I am 8 weeks along, baby due November 6!

Ultrasound at 7 weeks

Everything looks great so far!

JR and I found out exactly one month ago that we are going to have another baby. We were so incredibly shocked but so excited! I’ve had many different emotions over the past 4 weeks. However, there is something I’ve been feeling that I’m not proud of at all.

Fear.

You see, there was a time in our lives when we were uncertain if we would ever get to have children. Before we had Aidan, we lost a baby.  This is why I have been so hesitant to announce our wonderful news, the fear of something bad happening again. Fear that we could lose this baby too. Then I began to pray. I gave my fears to my God, and He began to comfort me. I came across this Bible verse:

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

The way I was feeling was not from God! He has not given me a spirit of fear. Here is what fear is:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

So I’m giving my worries and fears to Jesus. I’m thanking Him with all my heart and soul for blessing us with another baby. Whatever happens, I know He has a plan. I know that I KNOW, God is in control. I just could not wait another day to tell the world how God is blessing us. I’m kissing my fears goodbye!!!

Facing a Storm and Reaching Another Milestone

I can’t believe it. I am actually planning my little baby boy’s 1st birthday party! Aidan is 11 months old today. I’ve heard so many parents tell me, “Enjoy every minute, because it goes by so fast!” It sounds like a cliche, but it really is so very true.

11 months old today!!!

It is sometimes a little bit hard to get a good picture of a little boy who never stops moving!

This boy is such a funny little person. He amazes me every single day with how smart he is. He recently just got his third tooth. He already had two on the bottom, now he has one on the top! He is having a hard time getting used to the feeling of teeth in his mouth, so he has been making some very funny faces.

Bull Dog Face

Aidan still loves to listen to music every day. He likes cartoons sometimes too.  Phineas and Ferb are his favorite. He smiles from ear to ear when Mickey Mouse Clubhouse comes on TV. In honor of his 11 month birthday, I got him a Mickey Mouse. Here was his reaction:

I’m not sure if he was trying to kiss Mickey, or trying to bite him.

We have so very much to be thankful for! This past Friday evening, we decided to go for a visit to the farm. My family’s farm is about a 35-40 minute drive from our apartment. I always take Route 23, through Louisa, Kentucky, because the road is 4 lanes and seems safer to me than taking Route 52 (which is a winding 2 lane road). It was very cloudy when we left, but by the time we were passing through Louisa it was very dark, cloudy and SCARY. This is what I saw as I pulled into town:

We made it safe and sound to the farm. Fifteen minutes later it began to rain then HAIL. Hail the size of golf balls! I’m so thankful that we arrived to the farm when we did, because a TORNADO went through Louisa, where we had been, just 15 minutes earlier. Thank you God for keeping us safe!

Quick update on my weight loss progress: I am still going strong! No pop or greasy fast food cheeseburgers since New Years Eve. The results? Since the beginning of this journey I have lost a total of 16 pounds!  Thanks so much to my friends at Eating for Me for helping me to healthify meals and for keeping me accountable. To watch the wrap up video for February go here:  Eating for Me February Wrap Up.

Thanks so much for visiting my blog!

Please pray for those in Kentucky who were victims of these storms and tornadoes on Friday.

Have you ever been in a major storm or tornado?

Under the Weather: A quick update

Wow, I’ve really been neglecting my blog. I’m feeling bloggy guilty. When I don’t post, I always feel guilty. This time, there is a really good reason, I promise.

Our family has been under the weather. Big time. The baby caught it first, the runny nose, coughing, sneezing, fever. Yuck. I caught it next. Then my husband caught it. Just as husband was getting over the cold, the baby and I got a stomach virus. This virus is pure evil and I was really hoping that my husband wouldn’t get it. No such luck. Hubs had to stay home from work today and feels so very bad.

On a lighter note,  in the midst of all this sickness, Aidan turned 10 months old! Here he is on his 10 month birthday:

We had church at home on Sunday. I love that we can watch our church service online when we can’t be there in person.

Are you wondering how I’m doing on my promise to get healthy in 2012? Have I caved under the pressure of all this sickness and gave in to my Dr. Pepper addiction?

The answer is no! As we speak, I have been pop and fast-food free for 40 days now! The result so far? This is so exciting. I’m down 2 pants sizes. Even more exciting: I have been able to go OFF blood pressure medicine!!! Pretty amazing right?  As far as weight loss goes, I really have not lost a significant amount of pounds, yet. Since the beginning of this journey, in a little over a month, I’ve lost about 5 pounds. I know it’s not much, but I’m celebrating it because I’m not focusing on the numbers, I’m focusing on getting healthy! That’s what this journey is all about, right?

Check at my friends over at Eating For Me!  

Here is a link to their January Wrap Up Video:

Healthify your Year-January Wrap

Did you make a New Year’s Resolution? Have you kept it? 


So Much Has Changed!

Where have I been the past few days? Well, I am now a full-time college student at Marshall University, for the first time in 10 years.

So much has changed in those 10 years.

There are now dorms in the place I where I used to park, so I had to pay for garage parking. Then walk a country mile to Smith Hall.

I was very surprised by how much homework and assignments that my instructors are having us do online. Most of my exams will be taken online. I like it. 🙂

The Calamity Cafe is no longer there. This requires a moment of silence.

<<cricket…cricket…>>

Okay, moving on.

The biggest shock to me was that The 20th Street Baptist Church has been torn down and a new Rec center is in its place. Wow…

The buildings and ways of life at Marshall University are not all that have changed. I have changed. As I walked across campus today, I started thinking about what I was like 10 years ago. I was so focused on being a part of the crowd and fitting in. I had extremely low self-esteem. I was depressed much of the time. More than anything? I was empty and lonely. Today? I am none of those things. As I made the trek back to my parking spot in the garage this afternoon, I noticed something. My head was held up high. I had my chin up and I caught myself smiling involuntarily.  It was time to go pick up my baby, go home, make dinner for my husband and spend time with my little family. Yes, indeed, so much has changed, but for the better.  I’m sure I am a little biased, but I think I have one amazing life.

For those of you following my blog and my pledge to Healthify My Year, thanks for your support! I am 11 days in, and I am still soda and fast food free! The first week, I went down a whole pants size! Woo hoo! I only lost one pound, but I am celebrating it. Remember, it’s all about baby steps and making small changes.  It is NOT a diet!

Aidan is 9 months old and a New Chapter begins

Shew, it’s been a busy couple of days.

First things first, Aidan is now 9 months old! Pause for a cute picture…

Isn’t that just an attack of cuteness?

9 months have come and gone so quickly. So not only are we celebrating that Bubby is 9 months old, we are celebrating 9 months of breastfeeding! I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that we’ve come so far.

That all being said, the last two days have been super hard for me. Before I tell you about the last couple of days, I need to back up a bit.

After I had the baby, I desperately wanted to stay at home with him. The thought of going back to work, even after a maternity leave, was so sad for me, that I almost couldn’t think about it. So Hubby and I had to make some tough decisions. We had to downsize, big time, if we were going to make it work. We prayed really really hard. We went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University Class, and started following a budget every month. JR started working 6 days a week, almost 60 hours. We moved from our house into an apartment. A small apartment with no dishwasher, washer or dryer. Some people have said they admire the sacrifices we have made for our baby, but we didn’t look at what we were doing as a sacrifice, we look at it as an investment in our baby. Even with the major changes we have made. We have struggled. REALLY struggled. No one REALLY knows just how much we have struggled, except for JR and myself. The long hours JR has been putting in has started taking a toll on him. Then, very recently, he got injured at work. It scared us. What would happen to us if he could not work? What would happen is we would be sunk. Even more sunk that what we already are and we can’t let that happen. So we prayed some more. We weighed our options. I could get a job, or even try to go back to one of the many jobs I’ve worked before, but then all the money I made would just go to child care, and that makes no sense. Why work, just to pay someone else to watch my baby, when that is what I want to be doing?

I’ve talked before about the fact that I did not finish college. This fact has always been a source a shame for me. A reminder of missed opportunities, my immaturity, bad decisions, and if I’m being truthful, the reminder of my addictive tendencies. (Ahem, Coors Light anyone?) I have ALWAYS had the desire to go back and finish. I do not want to be the only one of my father’s children that does not have a college degree. So I started looking into what I would need to do to go back to college, at Marshall University. What has happened is nothing short of amazing.

When I went to Marshall University before, I was a Keg-ology , an undecided major. The classes I was interested in, I passed. The ones I thought were boring, I failed. In the end, I did end up passing more than failing, but the failing grades were keeping me from getting financial aid, without which, I could not afford to go. So I submitted an appeal to the financial aid committee to give me another chance. And they did. I was approved for a pell grant and student loans. Then I had to worry about the bad grades on my record. I wanted to major in Journalism/Public Relations, and I was afraid about how my bad grades would affect that. Then the Dean at the College granted me what is called “Academic forgiveness” In short? It’s a clean slate. The bad grades are still in their system as a part of my record, but they will no longer be added into my GPA.  So the money worked out, the grades worked out. Now the biggest challenge of all, where will my baby go while I am in class? While I’m studying? This obstacle was enough for me to almost not go. My baby is too precious to me to drop him off with just anyone. I started searching for different places and all the good ones had a waiting list or did not take children under a year old, as was the case with the daycare at my church, The Academy Child Development Center. I was particularly heartbroken about not being able to take him to The Academy. Not only was it at our church, but I got to know the owners very well when we volunteered together for Judgement House. Our Church is our second home, like family. So I prayed, Lord, you’ve brought us this far. You’ve opened every single door for me to be able to go back to school. I believe this is part of Your plan. So God, please? If Aidan can’t go to the Academy, can you please make a way for him to go somewhere like that?  I continued to fret. It was going to be so hard to leave my baby boy, regardless. I just needed to have a place for him to go where I knew he would be well loved and taken care of.

So here we were, less than a month until school starts, and I still did not have childcare for him. It is hard to find a place, that is reasonable and that will agree to watching your baby part-time. I had kind of resigned myself to the fact that it may not happen, and that was okay. I started having peace about the situation, and that’s when we got our answer. On my way into Bible Study one evening, I ran into the owner at the Academy. She smiled at me and said, “We can take Aidan now, I got the license we needed to take babies.” I coudn’t help it, I broke into tears. What a relief! So I’m doing it. I’m going back to school. Classes start on Monday.

So, why have these past two days been hard? Well, I figured I should try to get Aidan settled in at the Academy before my classes start on Monday, so that’s what we’ve been doing the past couple of days. Trying to ease me him into it, and get used to a new routine. The first time he went, he stayed for 3 hours. And I may or may not have cried. 😦  I know this is probably harder on me than it is for him. The first time I took him, he played and played and didn’t even notice when I was or was not there. He is still breastfeeding, and I am going to continue to breastfeed him until he is at least a year old. God has made a way for us through every obstacle. To me, its nothing short of a miracle!

Finally, you may be wondering if I have fallen off the wagon. Have I forgotten my promise to get healthy in 2012 ? Did I crack under the pressure and stress of the last couple of days and chug a Dr. Pepper? I’m proud to say, I’m still going strong. No soda pop for me since New Year’s Eve.

Snow and My “Not So Skinny” Jeans

Two awesome things happened yesterday.

Awesome thing #1- My baby saw snow for the first time. We have our first snowfall of the winter. The first snowfall since baby boy was born. I bundled him up and braved the weather to go run errands. While sitting in his car seat, he peeked over his blanket and looked around. His eyes got very wide, his eyebrows shot up and he smiled so big. He loved it! I only wish I could have taken a picture. He is so precious.

Awesome thing #2-I’m wearing a new pair of jeans. These are NOT skinny jeans by any stretch of my imagination. My Dad and Rose got me some new jeans for Christmas. On Christmas day, they would not fit me. Today is day 3 of my journey to Healthify my year.  Over the past 3 days, I have done 2 things. I have stopped eating fast food and I have given up soda pop. I can already tell a difference in the way I feel. The most immediate change I feel, is less bloated. Yesterday I took a chance, and tried on my new jeans, jeans that I could not wear the week before, because they were too tight. I was so surprised when I put them on and they were loose on me!!! Woo hoo!! These size 18 jeans, that I could not even wear a week ago, are big on me.

Please excuse me for a moment, I need to pause for a Fist Pump…

***FIST PUMP***

So have I lost any pounds yet? I don’t know, I’m only going to weigh myself once a week, on Sundays. I’m not focusing on the numbers. Because I’m not on a diet. I’m focusing on getting healthier, and I’d say this is a great start. 🙂

 

 

So Far So Good

The journey has begun! It is week 1 of my healthy new life. So far so good!

My first step on this journey to get healthy was to end my relationship with fast food and to break up with the drive thru.  I decided to take the pledge with my friends at Eating for Me to “Healthify” my year. This week, Elizabeth has given us 3 challenges

Challenge #1- Remember The Goal – The goal is to get healthy. We’re not going to focus on losing X number of pounds by a certain date. We are taking baby steps to lead a healthier life. If we focus on the pounds, and we don’t lose them, we may get discouraged and quit. This is NOT a diet.

Challenge #2- Write Down What You Eat– So I started a food journal. I am using just a regular notebook with lined paper. Nothing fancy. I can already tell this will make a difference for me. On the first day, I really thought hard about what I was choosing to eat, because I knew if I ate it, I had to write it down. And I did not want to write down that I was eating sweets, especially on my first day! Am I giving up sweets? No, I’m not. I’m just thinking more about what I eat before it goes in my mouth, down into my belly, and then its too late. A food journal is going to help me keep track of what I’m eating and help me evaluate what small changes I can make, that will make a difference without making me feel deprived.

Challenge #3- Identify your biggest weakness– Well I already talked about my infatuation with the drive thru and fast food. My biggest weakness goes hand in hand with that. My weakness is soft drinks. Soda pop. Dr. Pepper to be exact. Oh and Root Beer too. Sugary, bubbly, caffeinated drinks. I’m a sucker for them. I do not discriminate, I have yet to meet a sweet carbonated drink that I just down right hate. Dr. Pepper/Mr. Pibb is my favorite, but if a place does not carry it, Coke or Pepsi will do just fine. Forgive me, but I’m about to go off on a tangent.

It may be just me, but I find it amusing how this substance is called something different everywhere you go. I’ve had the pleasure of traveling all over the country in my short 31 years. Traveling is one of my FAVORITE things to do. So I’ve noticed that…

The further north you go, they call it Soda.  Out west, they call it a soft drink. Here in West Virginia we call it Pop. In the mid-west they call it Soda Pop. In Tennessee they call it Coke. For real. Even Pepsi is called Coke. I once had this experience with a server in Jackson, Tennessee.

Server: What can I get you to drink?

Me: I’d like a Coke please.

Server: What kind of Coke would you like?

Me:  A Coke.

Server: <<Blank stare>>

Me: Umm.. Coca Cola Classic?

Server: We don’t have Coca Cola products, How about a Pepsi?

Sigh…..

Anyway, I digress.

So there you have it, my biggest weakness. And no, I cannot switch to diet dr pepper. I’ve tried. It actually makes it worse, makes me want my good stuff even more. So this may not be a big deal to some folks, but I have decided to give it up. For now. Not forever. I can do it. I gave it up throughout my pregnancy and survived. If I start to REALLY feel deprived, I’m going to treat myself to a diet root beer. This journey is about baby steps, small changes. It is not life altering to substitute my pop for a glass of juice. Or better yet a glass of water. I think it will make a difference and it for SURE will be alot healthier!

Lastly, I have to make a correction about something I confessed in my last post. I shockingly disclosed my honest to God weight. According to the scale in my bathroom yesterday, I weighed in at 245. So that’s what I posted. In actuality, that scale cheated me! Today, out of pure curiosity, I did a body test on my Wii Fit program, and it also measures weight. According to the Wii scale, today I weigh 235 pounds. No I did not lose 10 pounds in 1 day. Take a look at what this cheating scale reads with NO ONE standing on it:

My nemesis

Either the air in my apartment weighs 10 pounds, or its time for me to chuck this thing out the window.

So, what do you call a soft drink? Pop? Soda? What is your biggest weakness when it comes to getting healthy?

It’s Time for a Change

This is going to be one of the most difficult posts I’ve written. A post about something I have struggled with for many MANY years. I know I am not alone in this struggle, though at times I have felt alone. Very alone and very ashamed. The struggle I am talking about is my weight.

I was not an overweight child. I was a thin, clumsy, sometimes awkward one. I had chronic low self-esteem, but that is another topic for another day. I always liked to play sports and when high school graduation came around, I weighed about 145 pounds. Which is a pretty healthy weight for a girl of my height at 5 foot 6 inches.

Me at 18 years old, with my friend Bobby in 1999

I attended college at Marshall University and it was then that I developed some very unhealthy habits. Like many college students, I loved the party scene and began to smoke and drink socially. However, I eventually became addicted to both cigarettes and alcohol. (Again, another topic for another day).  This is where I began to gain a significant amount of weight. On top of my drinking, I began a long term relationship with fast food and eating out. In my sophomore year of college I gained 30 pounds, and the next year I ended up failing out of school. After that I moved back home, to my Dad’s.  I continued my poor eating habits and gained another 25 pounds over the next several years. I tried so many different diets. I would lose weight, but then put it back on.  The year 2007 was the year I gained the most. I was diagnosed with a tumor on my pituitary gland and was told I would have a difficult time having children. I am not going to sit here and pretend that the glandular problem caused my weight gain. I’m sure it had just as much to do with the pop tarts I was eating every day for breakfast.  I started dating my soon to be husband at the end of that year. The next summer was my 10 year high school reunion. I almost didn’t go because I was so ashamed of how big I was and how ugly I felt. How big was I?  Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I’m going to write this. I’m actually going to tell my weight. I’m actually, really gonna do it…..** DEEP BREATH**  Exhale…..

Ten years after I graduated from high school, I weighed 255 pounds. In ten years, I had gained 110 pounds.

Me at my 10 year High School Reunion

It’s heartbreaking. It’s embarrassing. It’s….so many things that I can’t even begin to say. It makes me what to cry big buckets of tears into this keyboard.

A girl’s wedding day is supposed to be the day she feels the most glamorous. She finds the perfect gown and marries her perfect guy. She plans for months in advance and might even splurge on a few extras, like new make-up, a spray tan, a spa day, a fresh manicure. I splurged on all those things, but nothing could hide the fact that I was not the girl I once was. I tried to lose weight before my wedding, and ended up losing 10 pounds. But what does 10 pounds matter when you are still 100 pounds heavier than you used to be? So I found my perfect gown, and married my perfect guy. Yes, my husband is pretty much amazing and has always told me he loves me for ME, just the way I am.

Our Wedding Day May 9, 2009

As of today, I am at the exact weight that I was on the day I got married. Alot has happened since then. I gave up smoking and drinking. I got my bottom back to church.  I had a beautiful baby boy and I’ve been breastfeeding him for the last 9 months. Having this baby is the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I want to be the very best I can be, because he deserves the best. He deserves a healthy mom. He needs to learn, by example, how to make wise decisions and how to have a healthy lifestyle. So it’s time for me to make a change. This year is the year. No I am not going on a diet. I have tried diet after diet and have failed. No I am not going to spend hours upon hours at the gym. I’ve tried that too, and I crashed and burned. So what am I going to do? I’m so glad you asked….

My friends at Eating for Me have developed a new nutrition approach to help people live a healthier life. I have known Stacy and Elizabeth for a long time, and I’m so excited to take this journey with them. I have taken the pledge to “Healthify your Year.” It’s all about making small changes that make a big difference. THIS IS NOT A DIET!!!! It’s taking small steps to better nutrition and a healthier lifestyle.  For more info on this plan and how to take the pledge click here: 2012 Pledge .

So what am I going to do first? I mean it IS New Year’s Day, the day resolutions get made (and …….well …..usually broken in the same day…Ok, nevermind that, moving on).

My first step is this…..I’m breaking up with the drive thru. We’ve had a long volatile relationship and it is time for it to end. That’s it. That is where I am starting. It’s all about baby steps people!

This is not going to be easy all the time, but I have to do it. For my son, for my husband, for MYSELF. I will be blogging throughout this journey and I’m excited to see where it takes me. Finally, to you reading my post, THANK YOU. It was very VERY hard for me to share all of this. Your kind words and encouragement are much appreciated!

Holding my sweet baby New Year's Eve 2011