Nostalgia & Grief

Picture by Dee Dee Boley on Facebook

Picture by Dee Dee Boley on Facebook

While sitting here planning on taking my boys to the movies today, I was trying to think about what I should pack in the diaper bag. I was tempted to “sneak-in” my own snacks, because the snacks at the movies are so expensive, then I realized they wouldn’t last anyway, and would get consumed in the car.. As I was planning and playing out the possible “sneaking in snacks” scenario, I was hit hard by nostalgia and grief.

(WARNING: I’m about to tell on myself here, It might be hard to believe)…

This reminded me of the time that Brad Boley and I snuck two 6-six packs of bud-light into a movie theater and got away with it. Never got caught.

Brad passed away in October. I didn’t get to attend his funeral because I was in the hospital with diverticulitis. I haven’t grieved properly. He was one of my best pals in my early 20′s. So this memory hit me in the gut today.  I still can’t believe that Brad is gone. Way too young, and way too soon. I’m sad that I can’t call/text/Facebook message him and laugh with him about this memory, and then talk to him about how I am now 9+ months sober.

I’d give anything to be able to thank him for being such a good friend during that time in my life, For having the courage to tell me, “Um, I think you’re partying too much. What’s going on? Do you need help?”

For being the “big brother” that I didn’t have.

For buying me Ralph Lauren Pure Romance perfume on my birthday after my boyfriend of many years had broken my heart into a thousand pieces.

Jesus? Will you hug Brad for me today and tell him thank you on my behalf? Will you please give comfort to the wife and family he left behind? Brad and I had moved on and didn’t speak often at the time of his death. If his death affects me this much, I can’t speak of how his close family and wife have grieved. These moments of memories are multiplied by THOUSANDS to those who were close to him. So, Jesus, PLEASE, send your love and comfort today. AMEN

❤ -Amy

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