Where is God When I’m Hurting?

The weight on my heart is heavier today than usual…

I logged onto Facebook this morning to check and see if there were any updates about Pastor Rob. I was praying for him, and wanted to see if his family had posted any updates.(He’s having open heart surgery today so if you’re reading this, please send up a prayer for him TOO!)

Pastor Rob served at our church when I was around 11-12 years old. It was during one of his sermons that I met Jesus. Rob asked a question like “If you died today, what do you think would happen after you died? Where will you go?”

The first thought in my 11-12ish year old brain was, “Of course I’m going to go to HEAVEN!”

My thoughts continued….

I’ve been going to church here since I was born. Well really even before that if you want to get technical about it. My mom came to church here when she was pregnant with me, so that makes a difference, right? I’ve been in the children’s plays at church. I sang in the children’s choir. I put money in the offering every week. This all means something, right? That gets me IN, Right? As it turns out, no.

No. No. No. No. No.

Picture of me as a Toddler

My little self. I grew up in church and was always a “good kid.” But going to heaven is not about “ME” it’s about HIM.

I had been in church all that time, yet that’s not what it was about at ALL. It wasn’t about the actions of DOING for God or about being a good person. It was about a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus.

That was the gist of Pastor Rob’s sermon that day. Something he said that morning made me not sure I was really going to go to Heaven. After the service I started asking my Dad lots of questions about it. He opened up his Bible and took me through the “Romans Road.” It was there at the dining room table of my grandparents’ house on Pine Street that I decided to give my life to Jesus.

So Pastor Rob means a lot to me, and was a huge part of my coming to know The Lord. His son married one of my close friends, and now leads the Celebrate Recovery group at our church. This family has poured so much into me, therefore it was only natural for me to pour my heart out to God this morning and ask for healing for Rob and for comfort and peace for his family.

As I looked through my facebook newsfeed for the lastest news about Rob, I saw so many other burdened friends. A childhood friend of mine posted that her grandmother had gone on to be with the Lord, after many long days and nights at a Hospice House… Another friend was asking for prayers as her baby was getting tested for food allergies today.. Four months today marked the passing of Brad Boley (which I haven’t even been able to muster the strength to blog about yet)… Two friends from high school are planning their Nana’s funeral…

And it just goes on and on….

So much pain, worries, and real suffering.

It’s in these moments that I really have to dig deep and cry out to God.

When I open my Bible, and give my worries over to Him, He always answers me.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)

To my dear friends who are hurting: God has not forgotten you. He loves you. You can find peace in HIM.

Afterall, He’s already paid the ultimate price: He suffered more pain on the cross, more than we could ever imagine, just so that we can be with HIM in heaven.

Do you know that today? I’m praying that you do.

Because of Him,

Amy

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