It’s Time for a Change

This is going to be one of the most difficult posts I’ve written. A post about something I have struggled with for many MANY years. I know I am not alone in this struggle, though at times I have felt alone. Very alone and very ashamed. The struggle I am talking about is my weight.

I was not an overweight child. I was a thin, clumsy, sometimes awkward one. I had chronic low self-esteem, but that is another topic for another day. I always liked to play sports and when high school graduation came around, I weighed about 145 pounds. Which is a pretty healthy weight for a girl of my height at 5 foot 6 inches.

Me at 18 years old, with my friend Bobby in 1999

I attended college at Marshall University and it was then that I developed some very unhealthy habits. Like many college students, I loved the party scene and began to smoke and drink socially. However, I eventually became addicted to both cigarettes and alcohol. (Again, another topic for another day).  This is where I began to gain a significant amount of weight. On top of my drinking, I began a long term relationship with fast food and eating out. In my sophomore year of college I gained 30 pounds, and the next year I ended up failing out of school. After that I moved back home, to my Dad’s.  I continued my poor eating habits and gained another 25 pounds over the next several years. I tried so many different diets. I would lose weight, but then put it back on.  The year 2007 was the year I gained the most. I was diagnosed with a tumor on my pituitary gland and was told I would have a difficult time having children. I am not going to sit here and pretend that the glandular problem caused my weight gain. I’m sure it had just as much to do with the pop tarts I was eating every day for breakfast.  I started dating my soon to be husband at the end of that year. The next summer was my 10 year high school reunion. I almost didn’t go because I was so ashamed of how big I was and how ugly I felt. How big was I?  Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I’m going to write this. I’m actually going to tell my weight. I’m actually, really gonna do it…..** DEEP BREATH**  Exhale…..

Ten years after I graduated from high school, I weighed 255 pounds. In ten years, I had gained 110 pounds.

Me at my 10 year High School Reunion

It’s heartbreaking. It’s embarrassing. It’s….so many things that I can’t even begin to say. It makes me what to cry big buckets of tears into this keyboard.

A girl’s wedding day is supposed to be the day she feels the most glamorous. She finds the perfect gown and marries her perfect guy. She plans for months in advance and might even splurge on a few extras, like new make-up, a spray tan, a spa day, a fresh manicure. I splurged on all those things, but nothing could hide the fact that I was not the girl I once was. I tried to lose weight before my wedding, and ended up losing 10 pounds. But what does 10 pounds matter when you are still 100 pounds heavier than you used to be? So I found my perfect gown, and married my perfect guy. Yes, my husband is pretty much amazing and has always told me he loves me for ME, just the way I am.

Our Wedding Day May 9, 2009

As of today, I am at the exact weight that I was on the day I got married. Alot has happened since then. I gave up smoking and drinking. I got my bottom back to church.  I had a beautiful baby boy and I’ve been breastfeeding him for the last 9 months. Having this baby is the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I want to be the very best I can be, because he deserves the best. He deserves a healthy mom. He needs to learn, by example, how to make wise decisions and how to have a healthy lifestyle. So it’s time for me to make a change. This year is the year. No I am not going on a diet. I have tried diet after diet and have failed. No I am not going to spend hours upon hours at the gym. I’ve tried that too, and I crashed and burned. So what am I going to do? I’m so glad you asked….

My friends at Eating for Me have developed a new nutrition approach to help people live a healthier life. I have known Stacy and Elizabeth for a long time, and I’m so excited to take this journey with them. I have taken the pledge to “Healthify your Year.” It’s all about making small changes that make a big difference. THIS IS NOT A DIET!!!! It’s taking small steps to better nutrition and a healthier lifestyle.  For more info on this plan and how to take the pledge click here: 2012 Pledge .

So what am I going to do first? I mean it IS New Year’s Day, the day resolutions get made (and …….well …..usually broken in the same day…Ok, nevermind that, moving on).

My first step is this…..I’m breaking up with the drive thru. We’ve had a long volatile relationship and it is time for it to end. That’s it. That is where I am starting. It’s all about baby steps people!

This is not going to be easy all the time, but I have to do it. For my son, for my husband, for MYSELF. I will be blogging throughout this journey and I’m excited to see where it takes me. Finally, to you reading my post, THANK YOU. It was very VERY hard for me to share all of this. Your kind words and encouragement are much appreciated!

Holding my sweet baby New Year's Eve 2011

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28 thoughts on “It’s Time for a Change

  1. Pamela Cron says:

    Amy I love you! I am with you girl, I don’t want to diet…I want to change the way I eat and I want to eat healthy. It’s going to take a lot to change the course of this ship but WE CAN DO IT!
    Thanks for being YOU!!!!!

    P.S. Last night was so awesome with you and your family =)

  2. Amanda Austin says:

    Gosh it’s so so hard to lose weight but it’s great you are taking this step! I want to lose about 30 so I will be taking this pledge too!

  3. Dusty Hawes says:

    Amy, I exercise out back at the HLC at least 4 times a week and would love for you to join me sometime. I have about 50lbs that I am going to drop this year so I know exactly where your coming from.

  4. Kelly Lancaster says:

    You can do it. Let’s be honest here….we both know that I was overweight most of my life. I lost 60 pounds doing weight watchers. There will be times when it is easy and there will be times when it is hard but when you reach those little baby steps/goals on the way to your big goal it feels great. I’m sure you will do fine and before you know it you will be shopping for some new clothes 🙂

    • Amy Mac says:

      Brandon! I’m sorry if you had trouble leaving this comment on my blog, but I got it! I got the comment you left on my Facebook too. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement.

  5. Jamie says:

    You can do it! The first step is definitely recognizing that it takes a lifestyle change, not a diet or a quick fix. I’m very excited to see the progress that you make because I know it’ll be great1 (And you’ll feel so much better!) I’m down 41 lbs so far, and I haven’t lost any more over the last 3 months because I’ve taken the maintain path while life was too stressful to worry about trying to lose. It hasn’t been easy, but having the right attitude has made all the difference in making it successful this time. Good luck to you, and (((HUGS))) for all those little confessions. It can be so hard to pour your heart out where everyone can read!

    • Amy Mac says:

      Wow, 41 pounds!!!!! Wayyyy to go!!!! That’s so awesome. Thanks for visiting my blog and for answering my 1.5 million questions about breastfeeding over this past year. Hugs to you!!

  6. chelsea chang says:

    Very inspiring!!!! My husband and I are working toward the same goals…to be a healthy example for our kids. I never want them to develop an unhealthy relationship with food like I have. I have been working out and losing weight slowly and I have lost 30 pounds . Message me if you need any encouragement! 2012 is our year!

  7. Dawn Wellman Brown says:

    Amy, I cried when I read this blog, because I could feel your pain. I have been there and somehow feel like I am there again. I was very thin in school, called bean pole..then after cardiac meds, laziness and fast food, I gained from 125 to 278!! I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror.I had gastric bypass, some say the easy way out, not at all. nothing easy about it. I am still addicted to carbs and sugar, that never went away.I have silently made those resolutions along with you and /i applaud you for standing up and saying what most of us only wish we were brave enough to say. I am proud of you , I’ve always looked at you and thought of you as beautiful, sweet, kind.just the way you are. I know though, it’s how you feel that matters. Good luck on your journey sweet Amy, I wish you all the love and luck in the world.love, Dawn

  8. Rose McCallister says:

    I’m so proud of you! Not only for recognizing the problem, but also having the determination to do something about it. It’s not just about looking better, it’s about feeling better and having more energy to do what you want to do. You can do this!!! And know that you are not alone in this journey! xoxo

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